So for the last few nights I haven’t been able to sleep. It seems like as soon as I lay my head down all my thoughts start racing. I tried everything last night to clean my head; I wrote in my journal and tried to listen to mediation tapes. I drank tea and tried to talk to Meaghan to help ease my mind. But it is like my mind tried to find anything that it could to think about and just playing scenarios over and over. It is frustrating to be awake at three A.M. when I know I have to be up in four hours to face the day with a smile on. I have always had sleep problems but before I could use drugs to fix that. Now I am alone with my thoughts and all I can do is journal them down.
We are going to a young people’s 12step conference with other young adults in recovery tomorrow and I am really excited. It is a nervous excitement. I know it is going to be a high, intense energy situation and a large group of intense people can be really intimidating. More than anything I am excited to go and see other young people in 12step recovery who are as happy as they really want to be. At Back2Basics are all dressing up for Halloween and I am portraying a young Tom Cruise from Risky Business. I am excited to dance and let it loose for a little while. Not worry about what I look like and have fun.